I realized today that I don't really have much respect for my ex. And I think I never really had much to begin with, but I really don't have much now. I know this must sound a little selfish of me but I kinda want him to try to contact me or something like that so I can say the following to him: "Paul, because of your actions and all the lies you have told I have very little respect for you. I wish you no ill will but I wish to never have you in my life again." I'm in the angry stage right now, angry at him and at myself for letting him do that to me for so long. But that's getting better. I am noticing it's getting better each day.
Another person who I don't have much respect for is my mother. I know it's a sad thing but I don't. There are some many things that she does that just makes me lose respect for her. Now I don't hate my mother and I wish I could respect her more then I do but I just can't. There are a number of reasons why but I don't really feel like going into them tonight, but I think I should soon.
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